Jumping on the train for the commute home. Just time to grab a beer from the conbini kiosk. Oh, there's a new Sapporo brew on the shelf. Dark color scheme: must be dark beer. It says Chocolate: must be a stout. No, it says Bitter – even better. Settle back in my seat and crack open the pull-top. Nice sound. But the smell, that's not so nice. Doesn't smell like ale. Sure doesn't taste like it either. It's not bitter, it's sweet, it's sickly, it's undrinkable... What the heck is this stuff?
Look at the can again.Chocolat Brewery... Bitter... squint at the fine print blurb (it's in English too): '...made from roasted malt and cocoa, having the characteristic of aromatic chocolate flavor and bitter taste.' And there at the top is the giveaway: 'Sapporo x Royce'. OK, I now I get it. Sapporo: they make some good lager (Yebisu, long my default beer). But Royce: this is nothing to do with classic luxury British automobiles. Royce is a chocolate brand, the pretentious sort you find at gift shops. That was beer mixed with chocolate I just took a swig of. No it wasn't, it was worse — happoshu (ersatz low-malt 'beer-flavored beverage')...
Valentine season is here again and this year it's infiltrated the booze section. This is not the only can on the shelf to avoid; there's even a Chocolat Cocktail, courtesy of Asahi. Be afraid...
